REFLECTIONS AND MIRRORS

Wherever it is that you may be. I’m writing because I wanted to give you advanced warning that I’m coming for you. It’s inevitable now, it’s impossible to avoid. You may try to hide or duck out on me, but my determination is strong, my resilience is impossible to defeat. For the last seventeen years, I’ve been hiding from the truth—I’ve been hiding from you. I’ve let others make my choices and I’ve taken the backseat on my life.

 

But not anymore.

 

Because the fetters of childhood are coming off and the cage of adolescence is falling apart. This is the last time I’ll be waiting for someone else’s green light. After this, I’m not waiting for anyone’s mark except my own. Oh yes, my hands are free and there’s only the distance of time left between me and you.

 

And I might not know when I’ll reach you. Every year that passes may be a new disappointment that I haven’t found you just yet. But like Hansel and Gretel, you will always leave pieces behind for me to follow. I will always have pieces to pick up and somehow in the end, these millions of parts will fit together and there you will be: the future in my hands.

 

All I have to do is brave the rises and falls; the sparks of hopes and letdowns. It’s going to be a roller coaster of the ride but you know what I’ve realized? I’ve realized that’s okay. It’s okay to not know where you’re going or not even know what the hell you’re doing. Make shit up as you go, because moving forward is better than backward. Besides, disappointments in yourself are not failures: they’re proof of growth. They’re proof that you know there’s something better out there for you to do, for you to be.

 

I just have to be fearless enough to find it and then get it.